Mothers in Leadership

In 2017, I moved my family from Hong Kong and took on the role of Lower School Head at one of New York City’s largest independent schools. My three kids were navigating a new school in a new city, my husband was overseeing the renovation of our new home while running his own company, and I was leading a hundred faculty and staff who looked to me for direction the moment I walked in the door. 

 

Somehow, I thought we could do it. 

 

I did have a head start. I was raised by an elementary school teacher and was the oldest of three siblings. When I was nine, I started a neighborhood summer camp in my backyard, charging a dollar a day (though I would have done it for free). I had degrees from Yale and Columbia. I had learned Spanish, Russian, and Chinese. Surely running a lower school while parenting three children under ten was in my wheelhouse! 

 

And then COVID hit. As a school leader, my team and I kept our school open and operating safely while other schools remained closed. I was making constant, high-stakes decisions that affected hundreds of children, teachers and families. 

 

And then our own children started to melt down. Even with everything I knew, all my education, all my years as a principal, none of my training prepared me for what my own kids were going through. One started hitting people at school. Another set off red flags at the annual physical by answering a question about suicidal ideation. 

 

My children were in crisis. My work was all-consuming. I was stretched to a breaking point. Somehow, in the midst of all this, I wondered: How do other parents do this? 

 

Slowly, we found a way through. We got the help we needed for our kids. Two of them went to boarding school. I changed jobs. We relocated. 

 

As I finally caught my breath, it occurred to me: I was an expert in designing days for children—when they needed structure, when they needed breaks, how to alternate intensity with recovery. But my own life? There was no white space in my calendar. 

 

Every minute I was on the move. And now I was totally burned out. I needed a lot of help. 

 

As I set about rebuilding my own life, I came back to that question: How do other parents do this? And more: How can I make it easier for them? What would the world be like if more mothers in leadership were flourishing? 

 

Mothers in Leadership is my attempt to address these questions. I’ve committed myself to helping other mothers get the support I needed but didn’t know how to ask for. 

 

I help you identify the work that only you can do, build systems to manage what you have to manage, and cut away everything that doesn't serve you, your family, or your leadership.

 

Mothers protecting time to do their best work is radical. I believe it is one of the things that is going to change our world for the better. 

When mothers in leadership flourish, everyone benefits.   

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